WHO IS TO BE BLAMED, FOR THE COLOUR?
The voice I just heard was the voice of Baba Jay’s wife. I didn’t know she was not
She was speaking in clear English; it was so evident that she is educated.
Her voice was characterized by wisdom and education.
She said “I might not be able to see every one of us but I can feel every one of us
here. Some people have this erroneous belief that it’s because I am blind so I don’t
know my husband’s weaknesses.
This is a big fallacy. I know my husband’s weaknesses. I can feel his mistakes. I’m
aware and I can communicate with him because he can hear me and I can speak to
But I have the choice to speak negatively to him or refrain from speaking negatively.
Right from the very beginning of our marriage, we both agreed that we are not
getting married to hurt one another. We also agreed that our marriage will not be
easy because of our deficiencies but we will give it our very best.
Of course, there have been temptations over a million times in a year to speak my
mind or prove to my husband that I am educated but one thing has always stopped
me, I want to be that abnormal wife who has never said anything negative to her
Today I am proud that after twenty years, I am that abnormal woman now being
celebrated even without eyes.”
We all started clapping for her. As in serious ovation. Obama will be jealous.
Even with her not seeing, it’s clear she is far more educated than her husband yet
she submitted and she’s having a good marriage.
More clapping and cheering….
After the clapping stopped. Pastor asked us all to follow him into the kitchen except
for Baba Jay and his wife.
He paired us into twos.
On the table for each team were two half-filled cups of water. Two bottles filled with
clean water. Two paper cups filled with colored water.
The instruction are as follows.
Take the first cup, filled halfway, the first partner is to pour colored water inside. The
water becomes slightly colored.
The second partner is to pour colored water inside also. The water becomes very
“`WHO IS TO BE BLAMED FOR THE COLOURED WATER.“`
Our answers were: both of us were to be blamed because we both made the clean
Take another half-filled glass of water.
Let your partner pour colored water inside, but you should keep pouring clean water
two times the quantity of colored water your partner is pouring.
The cup is now filled with very slightly colored water.
“`WHO SAVED THE CUP FROM BEING TOTALLY COLOURED? “`
Of course, me!!!, I saved the cup because I kept pouring clean water double the
colored water my partner was pouring.
Pastor explained by saying:
This is the first lesson Baba Jay taught me. I can’t blame my partner for putting
colored water in our marriage. I don’t have full control over them.
The only person I have full control over, in my marriage is myself.
If my marriage is not happy, if it’s full of color, if it’s full of sorrow. If it’s not clean but
very bitter and dirty; It is because I have also contributed to the problem.
It is because I have also poured bitterness, anger, powerlessness, complain and color
into my marriage too.
“`SO MY LAST QUESTION FROM THIS EXERCISE IS THIS. BASED ON MY
EXPLANATIONS ABOVE, WHO DO WE HOLD RESPONSIBLE FOR THE PROBLEMS IN
YOUR MARRIAGE? “`
hmmmmm, see Jamb question.
The image of my husband popped into my head and by his side was my picture too.
Who should I blame ooo
Yes, I can’t control my husband but I should have controlled myself…
But am I the one who broke my marital vows by sleeping with others outside our
But have I not been troublesome too?
Hmmmm who should I blame honestly?
Author: Femi Oluyamoju