Over and again this “LOVE TRIANGLE” thing is being played out daily.The lady you love doesn’t love you and the lady you don’t love loves you and doing everything to get your attention. But you don’t care about her or her numerous efforts to please you into giving her your heart. She isn’t your spec therefore you don’t think much of her. There are a thousand and one reasons a lady may not be interested in a guy despite his efforts in getting her.
Those reasons are as varied as every lady you’ve ever approached. There is no specific reason for all occasions.
People have individual preferences and desires when it comes to relationship. Backgrounds differ, cultural exposure differ, acquired tastes differ,and experiences differ. The reason a lady may not be interested in you can be as simple as she’s just not attracted to you.
Ladies am I speaking your minds???
That’s just what it is. It can’t be engineered.Without that attraction any relationship that results is basically utilitarian (You’ll either be serving a purpose or being used).
You might just be a PR plug. The commonest utilitarian dimension is about means.You’re exposed to being used if you have money.We can also rule out one factor in your case. Prospects.You have a profession and a good job. A lady who has not out grown peer pressure or peer influence will be choosy because she is comparing her suitors with her friend’s boyfriend. Her friend’s boyfriend works in a oil company and drives a VENZA, and he lives in a duplex of his own. Therefore she sees it as a crime to settle for less than her friend’s “catch”. So you can’t be a secondary school teacher, who rides a motorcycle, and lives in a BQ, and be considered for a relationship. Your are far from her friend’s standard.
Her spec would rather be a man she can proudly flaunt before her friend than a man she can’t be giving her friends gist about.
For some ladies however it may be about the physical.
You may just not have the right height they desire in a guy. Some women want a tall guy and they’re not willing to negotiate that away under normal circumstances. Note I said “under normal circumstances.”
Some guys are burning out in the gym not because they want to keep fit but because they want to develop some “pack” that will “increase” their chances to get their dream girl “
There are those who find guys in nice shoes very attractive. It’s not exactly a scientific method of determining a good matrimonial candidate but it’s what it is. If you don’t suit up excellently like Fredrick Leonard (who is also tall and light skinned, and breaded) then you have no chance of getting her to be interested in you. Most women are turned off by poor oral hygiene (yours truly is on this table🤫)they can’t stand the idea of being married to a man they won’t be able to kiss. I am not saying that’s the reason the lady isn’t interested in YOU, but at least check to make sure you are okay in that department. If you have an oral hygiene problem just see your dentist or doctor. And there are things peppermint can solve.
But seriously speaking some guys don’t take their daily hygienic routine seriously.They think because they are not females then they can take their bath only when they feel like.
Imagine a guy who sweats much taking his bath only once a day? He doesn’t use deodorant to moderate his body odour or uses handkerchief to wipe his sweat. So the sweat dries on him and he believes he doesn’t smell. Because you don’t perceive it doesn’t mean you don’t smell.
Improve on your personal hygiene please.🙏🏻
Some women want a guy with social capital.They want someone with social status. If you approach one of such women at this stage of your life you’re likely to get a NO
You don’t yet have social capital. And sometimes we approach ladies out of our league.
There are social leagues in life, just like in football.
You need money to approach those kinds of ladies. And it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re the exploitative type.They’re just high class.Your poor savings won’t survive.(no offense meant)
Imagine being in a relationship with a lady whose weekly hair do is 50k and your marketing job pays you a salary of 75k.
Moreso she doesn’t spend her summer in Nigeria. She is the daughter of an elite. You need to be able to finance summer vacation in that division she belongs.
The children must also go to certain types of school, preferably abroad. It’s a foregone conclusion you must have destination wedding. It’s unimaginable a struggling young man will approach that class of women.
Loving her isn’t an issue here but your application of wisdom. You haven’t sat down to count the cost of going into a relationship with her.
She is even helping you by telling you NO trust me.
For some women the lack of interest can boil down to dressing.They are just not attracted to poor dressers.Some men are like that too.They don’t care about how they dress.They aren’t dirty but they dress poorly. They are ignorant about appropriate dress for specific occasion.They are ignorant about colour combination. They can combine colors for Africa,just one outfits you will see up to four or even five colors🤦🏻
They are purely village boys living in a city.
But let’s look at the compiled list of what draws women to a guy. Most times it’s a combination of factors though there’ll be a header factor.
For some women it’s personality.
Personality draws people. It’s like an aura.The man may not be fine but he has a magnetic quality.
Then there’s almighty finance. The stronger you are in this department the greater your chances. Some ladies just don’t want to suffer with a guy. They prefer ready-made guys.
For quite a number of ladies it’s about a sense of responsibility. The man must be responsible, have a sense of family.
Some ladies want a fun guy. They don’t want boredom.If you’re no fun guy you can’t stand a chance with such women.They want a guy that is always out door from one social event to another.
If you’re quiet they won’t go on another date with you, especially if you struggle with conversation. There must just be a flow of conversation.
That’s natural connection to them.
Some women want a selfless guy. Not necessarily a Father Christmas but a guy who’s giving of himself,his time and affection; a caring guy.
It’s not always about gifts (though gifts matter).They want someone who’ll make them feel special, who’s on the lookout for them.
Some ladies want a discerning guy.What that means is you understand Womanese, the language of women.That’s life’s most difficult language to master.
It’s dual band. Womanese has spoken and unspoken forms. In unspoken form Womanese is a series of faint cues.You have to catch it.Sometimes it’s spoken as word opposite.When she tells you I don’t want to be bothered she may mean the exact opposite.She actually wants you to bother her.
The only way to understand that is to imagine someone who’s ill being begged to eat up but he keeps saying no.
That no is not exactly a no.That no just means I need to eat but I really don’t want to eat, but I like the attention even if it seems irritating.It’s not a capital no.It can be a NO that means YES only if you persuade me enough to eat.
But you must also know when your woman means capital no, don’t come near.
Especially when she’s in a mood. The mood will clear up at some point and she’ll behave as if nothing ever happened.And she may send out non-verbal pulses you should not move near her.
You must be able to interpret those pulses. A lot depends on your emotional quotient.
When CHRIST said you should relate with her with UNDERSTANDING, this is part of what it means. You should be knowledgeable enough to be able to correctly interpret what a lady is saying through her silence.
Some women have literal architecture. They’re very matter-of-factly. You don’t use complex linguistic formats with them. They’ll take you literally. But some women have complex architecture. If they tell you they want orange they most likely mean mango. You’re supposed to understand word-opposite and synonym syntax.
Women are a volume of books constantly been edited. What NO means yesterday has changed today.
Life matures all of us at different rates.
The woman who is used to responsibility from an early age will of course mature faster. Some women have been taking care of their siblings since preteen.Chances are such women will go for much older men.They matured earlier than their mates.Which of course knocks you out.Such a lady will see you as “inexperienced.” You didn’t design your life to be classified as “inexperienced” but you were born as the last child of the family. So you have grown up to be cared for by all.It’s not your fault but that seems to rob you of the opportunity to be in a relationship with a lady who happen to be the first child with five siblings who are boys.
Being the last child just means you’ve not demonstrated capacity for continuous responsibility.She hasn’t seen you as a husband she can follow respectfully.She sees you as one of her younger ones.
Like I told you, chances are these tastes are a combination of factors, but one factor will stand above all others.Call that the critical factor.There are factors she’ll be willing to trade. If she likes a tall dark guy who’s very responsible,mature and caring, she may trade the tallness for responsibility and maturity.
It’s up to her what she wants to trade. You might have heard a woman say, “I’m beautiful enough for both of us.” Means she’s ready to trade “tall and handsome” for maturity, good prospects and responsibility. She’s saying her genes are strong enough to pass on to the kids. “Tall and handsome” matter less when salient issues are up for consideration.
There’s a difference between crush material and husband material.
There’s a difference between cake and icing sugar.
Women want exclusive, proprietary and custom fitted affection.
(Special thanks to pastor Gesh on of my mentors)